


Antichrist

by wearehappylandfill



Category: Gorillaz
Genre: Bands, Childhood, Childhood Memories, Childhood Trauma, Cuddling & Snuggling, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hugs, Implied Sexual Content, It's about Murdoc and his badass daughter, Nightmares, Past Child Abuse, Phase Five (Gorillaz), Phase Four (Gorillaz), Phase One (Gorillaz), Phase Three (Gorillaz), Phase Two (Gorillaz), Platonic Cuddling, Pre-Gorillaz, Romance isn't the main focus, School, Singing, Slight Murdoc X OC, University
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-12
Updated: 2019-04-20
Packaged: 2019-06-18 15:31:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15488994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wearehappylandfill/pseuds/wearehappylandfill
Summary: A gorillaz fanfiction where Noodle is actually Murdoc's biological daughterMentions of Murdoc's childhood abuse/trauma, drugs/alcohol/cigarettes, child soldiers, car crashes, and gun violence





	1. Pre-Gorillaz - 1

Almost every day felt the same for Murdoc. He'd wake up, try to get something to eat without waking his father, go to work, get a bit of lunch, and go to work at his second job. Around then, it would be night time, and he'd have to go back home. Then it would all reset.  
Some days were different, though. Some days he would have classes to go to. When he was a child, he didn't like going to school at all. Now, as an adult, it was the highlight of his life. A place where he can stay away from his awful family and live his life with just the slightest relief from his fears. He had put his name in for an exchange student program, and told them to send him wherever was the farthest from Stoke-On-Trent.  
The next class he was going to would determine whether or not there was enough spaces left for him to be leaving, and where he would be going.  
He woke up after a brief nap in his car. He got out of his car and hurried to his class, wishing he had time to gaze up at the stars before he entered. He sat at his desk, ignoring the whispers of people talking about him, and waited patiently to find out where he would be going, if he was picked to go anywhere.  
Most of the names and places were unimportant and uninteresting. Someone was going to America, another to Italy, and a few more people went to more places. Then, he lifted his head as he heard his name.  
"To study in Osaka, Japan.... Murdoc Niccals," the professor called out from the sheet. "And that's all. If your name was called, stay after class to get the information for your trip."  
Class began soon after. Murdoc could hardly pay attention, he was too excited. He couldn't wait to be far, far away from Stoke.

After what seemed like ages, the time had finally passed and he was able to leave. After packing all of his most important things, and being yelled at by his father that if he left he wouldn't be allowed home, he boarded the plane and didn't look back. He didn't like the ride, he wasn't a fan of plane rides, and was relieved beyond belief when he stepped off the plane. He looked at his information sheet, which told him to go to a nearby restaurant, that someone would be waiting to help him back to his dorm. He carried his bags, his bass strapped to his back, and he walked to the restaurant. Suddenly, he grew nervous. He didn't know the proper etiquette for places in this country. He was about to enter before a woman walked up to him quickly.  
She spoke in quick Japanese, making confusion grow within Murdoc. Then she paused. "You're Murdoc Niccals?"  
He struggled to respond. The woman before him was an actual goddess. So, so beautiful. Her hair was brown and wavy, dip-dyed a slight pinkish-red. Her make-up was simple, yet still elegant, and he felt like he'd never seen a woman that was so beautiful.  
"Um.. Is that a no?" She asked softly.  
"No," Murdoc said hurriedly, "I am Murdoc. Sorry."  
She smiled at him. "I've heard you've never been to Japan. Is that correct?"  
"Yes," Murdoc nodded. "I've never really left England. I... I have a lot to learn."  
"That's why I'm here," she said with a grin. "I am Sakura Itō."  
"It's nice to meet you, Sakura." Murdoc very carefully copied her pronunciation of the name, which made her give him a smile that made his head spin.  
"Likewise," she chirped. "Come with me, I can lead you to your home. If you need help with things, I'll be just across the hall."  
Murdoc entered his apartment and looked around, humming to himself. He had a kitchen, a little sitting area with a television, a bathroom, a bedroom, and a study. No sharing with his family, no chaos, nothing. He'd left his shoes near the door and had gotten into a pair of slippers, as advised by Sakura before she'd went to her own room. It was a comfortable place, with books of all sorts lining shelves and a comfy looking bed. All he needed was a few extra things, like toiletries and food.  
Jet-lagged, he fell asleep on his couch, exhausted.

After about three months, with much help from Sakura, Murdoc was finally settled in his apartment. She, as they worked on things, would teach him Japanese like he was a small child learning how to speak. She'd show him an object and teach him the name, then teach him to write it later. She taught him the alphabet and was really working on helping him understand the language better.  
Sakura took the same classes as him and helped him with terminology he couldn't understand, and a lot of the times she would spend time with him and they would work on projects or papers together.  
Murdoc loved language lessons though. It was nothing for a class, just him and Sakura working together to expand his knowledge. Occasionally, though she was rather good already, she'd have him teach her things in English. Both of them were learning, and having a decent time while doing it.  
As he got to know the woman, he began to see how utterly talented she was. She could sing rather well, and knew how to cook, and she was good with their classes as well. Never had he met a woman so stunning and intelligent.  
And, after a few months more, he wondered if he could possibly be falling in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit: Murdoc's trip in Japan begins in Autumn of 1987. He leaves in early 1990. Should've mentioned that before lol


	2. Pre Phase One - 2

Sakura Itō was a woman who either kept Murdoc awake at night or was a subject of his dreams. She had been his friend for about a year, which also meant that he'd been in Osaka for a year, and both of those were startling to think about.  
One night, Murdoc rolled over onto his side with a little grunt. He needed to think of some way to tell her how he felt, then smiled to himself as an idea formed. In April, the cherry blossoms would be in bloom, which he supposed was a pretty romantic time. Also, her name technically meant cherry blossom, so it would have some sentiment. It was brilliant.  
Once April arrived, Murdoc was ready for his plan to unfold. Sakura looked stunning, wearing high waisted jeans, a plain shirt, and an MA-1 jacket. Murdoc walked beside her, humming softly as they walked beneath the blossoming trees. He took a deep breath. It was now or never.  
"Hey, Sakura?" Murdoc asked in a gentle voice.  
The woman looked over at him curiously. "Yes? What is it?"  
"I was wondering if you would.. uh.." He paused for a moment. He wasn't used to asking women out and such, but there was no backing down. He cleared his throat slightly. "I was wondering if you'd like to go out on a date with me. As more than friends."  
Sakura paused, eyes wide. "Of course, Murdoc. I would love that."  
He let out a long sigh of relief. "Thank god. I... I already got us a reservation for dinner, so I'm glad you didn't say no."  
Sakura let out a soft laugh as she walked beside him, giving a soft shake of her head. She blinked at him after a moment. "May I hold your hand?"  
"Yes," he said quickly. "I mean.. Yeah, you can."  
She smiled and carefully held his hand in hers.

Luckily for Murdoc, dinner went well. Then, after, they'd watched a movie in Murdoc's apartment and fell asleep beside each other. Almost every day after that they spent at each other's side. Sakura respected Murdoc's occasional nervousness in the relationship, and never pressured him into anything that he didn't want to do, and if he needed space, she gave it to him. It was the simplest thing but he valued it more than anything.  
Once, they'd gone further than before. They both made sure it was what the other wanted.  
Every time Murdoc woke up with Sakura beside him, he got a sense of peace. God was real, and she was laying beside him. He'd pull her close and hold her, embracing her while he could. This life wouldn't last forever, and he'd need to go back to Stoke-On-Trent eventually. It was a scary thought, he didn't want to leave her and go back to his father and brother, but from what he could tell, he didn't have any other choice. The thought of saying goodbye was a terrifying one. He thought of it when he was alone, his mind drifting about. Did Sakura know that he would be leaving soon? That they might not ever see each other again? It gave him a terrible ill feeling. He couldn't do a thing to change what was going to happen. He'd have to live with it, but he'd make sure to spend as much time as he possibly could, and he'd need to tell her about leaving eventually.  
Classes were finishing up, and Murdoc could feel dread weighing down on him. Sakura could tell, she noticed the way his expression would shift to a more anxious one when things got quieter, and that, more often than not, it seemed he was lost in his own head.  
"Murdoc," Sakura said gently, looking over at him. They were sat side by side, watching a movie together. "We need to talk."  
Murdoc felt his palms begin to sweat nervously. "Is everything okay?"  
"You are..... you are worrying me." She took a deep breath before continuing. "Be honest with me. What is troubling you?"  
Murdoc felt his chest tighten, growing nervous. "I.... I'm gonna have to go back to Britain soon. I can't.." He gulped slightly, not wanting to say what he was going to say. He had to. "I'm not going to be here forever, you know..."  
Her expression changed. "I knew you were going to leave some time, but I... I did not know it would be so soon."  
"Yeah, I forgot how soon it was until I took a good look at the calendar." He let out a long sigh. "I don't want to leave you, Sakura.:  
"I don't want you to leave either," she said in a soft tone. "But it will all be okay, I know it will be."  
Murdoc couldn't help the loving grin that grew on his face. "I love you so much, Sakura."  
"I love you too, Murdoc," Sakura whispered, a smile on her face as well as she gave him a quick kiss.

The day that kept Murdoc up at night had arrived before he could really, truly process how much it would hurt to leave Sakura. She'd given him her phone's number, though he doubted he'd be able to call her ever, and they spent every waking moment for the rest of that at each other's side. Within that evening, a little while before he was to leave, was the most intimate and loving experience he'd ever have. Then Sakura accompanied him to the airport. Dozens of kisses were shared right up until Murdoc boarded. Then, he blew her a kiss goodbye. Before he knew it, he was in the air, steadily moving away from the country and woman he'd grown to love.


	3. Phase One - 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok i get that 2D said that it took a long time to get noodle and stuff but this is my story not hewlett's so oh well  
> also im trying my best with the Japanese but alas I only know how to write a few letters so I tried to write it so Murdoc said "I speak Japanese only slightly" but I might be a fool

A little over 8 years had passed since Murdoc had left Sakura. A lot of things had happened in that time. Murdoc had tried and failed to start a band many times, and only recently he'd started one with some promise. A pretty-boy singer, a talented drummer, the singer's girlfriend for a guitarist, and himself as the bassist. The promise of Satan's help was an added bonus.'t  
It was rather unfortunate, but he'd stopped thinking about Sakura since he'd last seen her. It wasn't a conscious decision, of course. He'd simply been busy handling everything, and his mental state was pure shit most of the time. So he never really thought about her.  
He'd become a shit person in the time since he'd left, too. He treated people worse, treated himself worse, and fell into bad habits. That, he figured, was bound to happen anyways, so he didn't care much about it. The only problem he had with his reckless behaviour was that, most of the time, it wrecked everything. For example, his drunken antics had led to the band losing their guitarist, a bird named Paula Cracker. He'd.... had quite a nice experience with her in one of the bathroom stalls. Problem with that was that she was his lead singer's girlfriend. Stuart, Stu-Pot, 2D, whatever you wanted to call him, didn't take it very well. See, the drummer in the band, Russel, had discovered them in the act. Despite the woman's desperate pleading to not tell her boyfriend, Russel refused to keep silent. He broke the news to 2D, only after breaking Murdoc's nose multiple times, and 2D kicked Paula out. Unfortunately, that meant they were without a guitarist. Much to Murdoc's surprise, that didn't last long.  
On a cold afternoon in October, a large crate arrived at the door to their studio.  
"Er, Murdoc?" 2D called out, peeking outside. "Didja order somefin'?"  
"What?" Murdoc grumbled, narrowing his eyes at 2D. "What the hell are you talking about? I didn't order anythin'."  
"There's a huge, huge crate out here," the boy at the door said, purposefully speaking in a lower tone. "Nuffin' on the label says where it came from, but it’s addressed to yew."  
Murdoc stood and glanced at the crate. "Shit, you weren't kidding," he grunted. Raising his voice to a shout, he called for Russel.  
After a long moment, Russel emerged from the lift. "What do you want?"  
"Need help gettin' this crate inside," Murdoc huffed. He couldn't lift it himself.  
Russel moved to lift it and furrowed his brows as he struggled to carry it. "Damn. What did you order, man?" He said, letting out a puff of breath.  
2D and Murdoc both helped him take the box inside.  
"That's the weird thing," Murdoc grunted as they set down the box. "I didn't order anything."  
"Wonder what's inside," 2D hummed. "It's got holes at the top. Wonder if there's summat alive in there."  
Murdoc let out a little snort. "We'll find out in a second. Once I get this damned thing open."  
He fished a crowbar out from somewhere on the floor, and, with a grunt of effort, opened the crate in front of him. Inside sat a child wearing a hastily put on uniform. In the box with her were some pre-made food containers and a guitar. Murdoc recognised the containers- they looked like the bento boxes that he’d eaten from when he was staying in Japan.  
The child looked up at him, startled and bewildered at the sudden light and the three odd men towering over her. Nervously, she gulped down the onigiri she was in the middle of eating when the box was opened and tried to remember something, anything. Setting aside her bento, she shakily grabbed her guitar and nervously glanced at the men, who appeared just as shocked as she was.  
Vaguely, she remembered something. Before she’d been packed in the box, she’d been ordered that when she met her father she was to play her guitar as best she can. She wasn’t sure if she’d met her father, but she got a feeling she should play anyways. So she did, hesitantly rising to her feet before she played. It was all a blur to her, she just did what she felt she must, and by the time it was over she leapt in the air as a finisher. Breathing heavily and looking anxious, she gave the three men in front of her a tiny smile.  
Murdoc stood beside his band mates, not entirely sure what had just happened. 2D’s jaw had dropped, and Russel’s expression was unreadable. He considered how the kid might feel with three strangers gawking at them, so he let out a little chuckle.  
“Guess someone saw that ad we put out, huh?” Murdoc raised his brows and gave the kid a little smile. He knew he wasn’t the most welcoming person ever, but he felt like the smile was something he had to do. There was something extremely familiar about the child, but he couldn’t put his finger on it.  
2D, seemingly oblivious to how nervous the child was, started to approach her with a huge gap-toothed grin. “That wos bloody wicked!” He praised. If he still had eyes, they’d be lit up like a Christmas tree.  
The child backed up, panicking as he got closer, not sure of what to do. Murdoc, thinking quickly, grabbed 2D by his shirt and tugged him back. He let out a squeak of protest but realised after a moment why Murdoc had done it.  
Russel decided to take a hesitant step toward them. To be honest, Murdoc figured he was probably the best person to do it. Besides his eyes, he was probably the most normal looking person out of all of them.  
He started speaking in a soft, gentle tone. “Hey, it’s okay. We ain’t gonna hurt you, okay? I’m Russel.” He made gestures as he spoke to help them understand better what he was saying.  
Their body seemed to relax slightly, though the kid still looked nervous. Russel carefully knelt down so he wasn't looming over them.  
Shaky, they looked around at everything around them and tried to figure out how to get the men to understand them. Then, they seemed to get an idea, turning and grabbing the bento box and holding it out. After a long moment, they practically shouted, "Noodle!"  
Russel, Murdoc and 2D exchanged a puzzled look.  
"Noodles are nice," Russel said gently.  
The small child lit up when they understood the word. They made an attempt to gesture with the box, and a small envelope fell from their pocket. Curious, Russel slowly reached to grab it. On the top, there was some Japanese text. Beside the Japanese text was a carefully written "Murdoc Niccals."  
Russel looked confused, but handed it to Murdoc. Murdoc took the envelope and cut it open with one of his nails.

The letter that was packaged with the child was the absolute opposite of what Murdoc had expected. Written in rather neat print was a long description of who exactly the child was. She was an almost eight year old girl from Japan, named Emiko by her mother. She was separated from her mother for reasons that the writer of the note said he couldn't specify.  
He could specify one thing, though. Emiko was Murdoc’s daughter. Her mother that she’d been separated from was Sakura.  
Murdoc felt his heart drop, and his mouth seemed to go dry. He hadn’t thought about Sakura in years. It couldn’t be possible, could it?  
He glanced over to Emiko, trying to get a good look at her. She was curiously examining 2D’s peculiar features, stood beside him while he sat on the ground. It was then Murdoc realised what was so familiar about her. She really, really reminded him of Sakura.  
It was as Emiko was reaching to touch 2D’s hair when he carefully knelt down and brought himself to speak.  
“Err.... Kon’nichi wa.” He couldn’t remember much in Japanese, besides how to introduce himself and how to flirt.  
The small girl’s head shot up, turning to look at him with excited eyes. She’d been told that her father was where she was going. Maybe it was the slight understanding, or maybe just intuition, but she felt like this man might be the one she was told about. She began to talk in fast Japanese, most of which Murdoc didn’t know.  
"Uh, wait-" Murdoc tried to hide that he was panicked by what was happening. "Err... Watashi ha..... Watashi ha nihongo ga sukosi dake hanasemasu." He probably butchered the pronunciation of that, but he wasn’t too worried about that.  
The excitement in Emiko’s face faded slightly, but Murdoc continued.  
“Erm..” he paused. “Watashi wa omae no chichi.”  
Almost immediately, the girl’s excitement returned to her. Russel and 2D shared a glance, puzzled. Emiko ran to Murdoc and hugged him tightly.  
Initially Murdoc stiffened, but after a long moment he carefully put his arms around her, awkwardly patting her back. Russel finally broke his and 2D's awkward silence.  
"Maybe we should get them settled down," Russel murmured, taking a step toward Murdoc. "Try to find out their name-"  
"I think it might be Noodle," 2D offered, tilting his head. "They always react when we say it."  
"Their real name, 'D," Russel responded. "Like I was saying, we can try to find out their name and where their parents are."  
"I know both of those things," Murdoc responded, moving to the couch. Emiko followed him closely, climbing onto the couch beside him.  
"Is that what was in the letter?" Russel asked. When Murdoc nodded, Russel rubbed his temples. "Well, tell us then! What's their name? Where's their family?"  
"Her name's Emiko," Murdoc responded, "and for her safety, that knowledge stays between us, I guess."  
"And?" Russel asked. "What about her family?"  
"Her mum's in.. well, her mum's somewhere in Japan." Murdoc paused.  
"You know where her dad is?" Russel asked hopefully.  
Murdoc let out a long sigh. "Her dad's sitting right next to her."


End file.
